Soooo I’ve always said that God loves to pull pranks on me. And it’s completely true. I’m sure Him and the Saints have all gotten MANY hearty chuckles at me and my life.
I’ll admit, at the time, I am just razzled and wondering “WHAT IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW IN MY LIFE?!?!?!” but I quickly learn to laugh at the newest joke in my life. It usually ends in a simple lesson, a needed reassurance, or a reminder to trust in God. Typically, it ends in me cracking up regardless of the case, looking up to the Lord, and giggling as I ask why He couldn’t just TELL me I needed to do this or that.
But as much as I ask Him to do that, I also know that I have difficulty listening to God most of the time. I am very stubborn that way. So one of His favorite ways to make sure I get His message is to mess with me.
To be completely honest, I’m fine with it.
Haha. Today He was a bit rough with me. I was on my way to Indy to visit a good friend for her formal. I needed to make the 3:23pm Metra train into the city in order to catch the Amtrak down to Indy.
Problem was, when I looked at the schedule, I did not see 3:23pm. I saw 3:32pm.
As we pulled into the station at 3:20pm, we saw a train and then minutes later saw it pull away and that was when I realized what had happened. Sooooo I had to take the next train at 4:07. Problem was, this train got in only EIGHT MINUTES before my Amtrak left.
Said train decided to also be EIGHT MINUTES late pulling into Union Station. Needless to say, I ended up crying and watching as the last train to Indy departed. Dejected, I called my mom crying. I found a bus, but it was getting all kinds of creeping after a certain time if you get my drift so my dad came to pick me up and drove me down to Indianapolis. A four hour drive. Yeah. He’s pretty awesome.
So where’s the HAHAHAHAHA OMG GOD YOU ARE SERIOUSLY HILARIOUS LOL LOL LOL moment?
Well, I’m still kind of waiting for it.
I’m typically pretty good at quickly finding a positive in any situation and figuring out how anything that hurts me or breaks me down is making me stronger. With this, I was at a loss. A complete loss. I made it to my friend’s place. It was a huge inconvenience for my parents and me. We wasted money. What was the point God was making out of that situation? What was He trying to show me?
And I just don’t know. But I am absolutely sure there was some good that came out of it. I just have to trust it. And who knows? Maybe the good wasn’t for me. Maybe me missing the trains somehow affected someone else. Maybe it did something for my parents. Maybe a stranger noticed me reading my Bible in the station as I waited for my dad and that touched them. Who knows?
We’re only human. Our understanding of things like this is actually pathetic. Our mental capabilities are incomparable to God’s infinite knowledge and wisdom. We just need to trust Him. One day, when I will HOPEFULLY be entering His Heavenly Kingdom, I will get to ask Him what the point was. I know it has a reason and is a good one. I don’t know what it is, but I can confidently say there is one.
And hey. Who knows? Maybe His response will be, “ehhhh you’re fun to mess with” and we can laugh about it into eternity.
I spent the last year worshipping a guy over my favorite Guy up in Heaven. Now that the guy I had given my whole heart to has left me, leaving my heart on the ground, I have a choice.
I could a) pick up that dirtied heart and rush off to parties to flirt with other guys and try and find someone new ASAP to give that heart to or I could b) take a good look at my heart and clean it. I can hand it over completely to God for the next year and let Him cleanse it. I can do my best to give him the tools He needs. I can give him my focus, my attention, my thoughts, my words, my actions, and, when I give Him my heart, my love. After this year with Him, I will have a clean and purified heart. It will be mine to control again and it will be completely engulfed in worshipping Him.
After a year, God will still have my heart, but He’ll give me permission to share it again. Only then, when my heart is completely filled with God, will I allow myself to look for my husband. Our hearts will meet in God.
If I meet him before then, well then we’ll have quite the dandy friendship. I am putting God first in my life, starting now until forever. I will not worship another again over Him.
So I am going with option B. No flirting, no dating, no thinking “what if…” about any guy, no anything. If a thought enters my mind about a guy, in will pop Jesus to replace him instead. I’m dating Jesus this year. I won’t be cheating on Him. I’m focusing on our relationship only. He’ll give my hand to the one He deems worthy for my heart when the time comes.
Until then, Jesus is my only guy.
Please pray for me everyone as I embark on this journey of the heart.
I always said that my husband was preparing himself for me back when I was single. It was always him who had to prepare himself for me.
My faith in God took a nosedive with my former relationship. I watched it happen. I let it happen. I was in love and I put him above God. I knew I needed to break up with him weeks ago. The question of “him or God?” permeated every thought. I chose him. Again and again.
When he broke it off, I cried and begged for him to stay. But now I see the freedom it has offered me.
Dave is a great guy, but he wasn’t the great guy for me. So many times, girls will say “I just want a good guy.” Really? That’s it? No. This time, I want a godly man. I want a guy who wants the same things I do. I want a guy who recognizes spiritual struggle. I want a guy who will wait months to kiss me so we can slow down, take our time, and grow together with God. That guy will be my husband.
It hit me that right now, he could be ready for me, but it’s me that has to prepare myself for him. I have a relationship with God to fix. I have prayers to say. I have charity to do. When we broke up, Dave told me that he wasn’t the guy for me, but God was. I love that. God is my guy. One day, he’s going to send me someone who is my earthly guy. Until then, God and I have some things to work out and I am so excited for what the future brings for us.
Dave freed me in ways I don’t think he will ever understand. We were meant to be together, but not forever. I have learned more about myself from him over anyone else in my life. I have made great change in my life and with the lessons I learned from our relationship, I will continue to make those great changes. One day, I will have made those changes and I will finally be ready for my husband, wherever he may be. In me, he will find the light of God and I in him. In order to get to me, he will have to go through God.
I am dropping my pride and choosing to wear humility. It is I that needs to prepare. I am not perfect. I never will be. But from this day on, I will strive to be that godly woman God has called me to be. I will prepare to be the best godly wife I can be. I will prepare to be the godly mother that I know I will be and want to be.
I’m back, Lord. I’m back.
Isn’t it interesting how practicing Catholics tend to only be in like one or two relationships tops?
How many Catholics do we know that married their first boyfriend or girlfriend? For me personally, quite a few! My one family friend got married and he was the only person his wife had ever kissed when they got married!
Everyone always asked through high school why I wasn’t dating. For me, it was stupid (no offense to you guys in high school relationships). I didn’t see anyone who met my standards. I wanted a good Catholic who would practice chastity with me and wanted the same things as I did. A family. A healthy lifestyle. A relationship with God so unnervingly beautiful. I never found that in anyone in high school. I liked one guy who I thought was close to that, but he never felt the same and I thank God for that. I really do.
Now, I am with a guy I could absolutely see myself being with for the rest of our lives. He is not perfect, but neither am I. We’re perfect for each other. I waited for him, because no one else would have mattered. He’s the one. I wouldn’t still be with him if I didn’t think so.
Catholics have beautiful love stories. They really do. They wait and when they find the one God intended them to be with, it’s all the more beautiful. It’s worth it. So keep those godly standards as they are. There is someone out there. Wait. Wait. Wait for him or her. The Catholic love story is worth it.