as you all know, saint patrick walked barefoot as an act of contrition, which made his feet rugged and blistered. he ate an ascetic’s diet, which made him weak and additionally gave him bad breath.
all of this made him
a super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis
What’s the worst thing you’ve seen someone do during mass?
I have seen an adult woman sneeling (sitting/kneeling/you know those people) while texting during the consecration and I had one woman sitting next to me pull out a full size brush in the middle of mass and begin brushing her hair.
I am going to be completely honest with everyone and admit right here that I, Colleen Gleason, never discerned my vocation. I just assumed. I made a few half-hearted “God tell me my vocation. Yeah I like kids and want to run my home. Ok cool. Marriage it is. Thanks” prayers, but I never really listened for His answer. Instead, I let the images of my Martha Stewart-esque home filled with adorable vegan school lunches, color coded calendars, and reading stories about God to my six adopted children while they snuggled into the arms of my husband and me take over. I never let God share His image of my future. I was too in love with my own.
My former boyfriend and I thought we were getting married. No, we knew we were getting married. We knew we were going to have kids. We just knew that’s what God wanted for us. How did we know all of this? Not by prayer (because that is just a crazy thought and who would do that?) and not by talking with a priest or spiritual director. We just knew because we fit well together and got along. We were in love and didn’t see it ending (pause for irony) so we began to plan a future without consulting the One in charge of our futures. We never asked God how our future was going to look. We had assumed the vocation of marriage because it just felt good to be with someone and we both wanted that for the rest of our lives. We assumed it because we had both been brought up in a society that tells you marriage is the way to go. It has always been expected of me that I would head off to school, find a fab guy, get married, and start having children.
There is nothing wrong with marriage and I still believe it is likely to be my vocation (heck, I am HOPING with all my heart it is). But I need to ok marriage in my life with God first. I need to entrust in Him that it is my calling to be a wife and mother. Through a lot of the reading that I have been doing lately, I have been opened up a bit more to the world of consecrated single living. The more I read about it, the more I can see it working in my life and I have started to slowly open my heart to the possibility of it being my vocation.
And I am absolutely terrified.
I am so scared it’s my vocation. I know that sounds ridiculous, but I am. It goes against all the plans I have ever had for myself. It is against all my dreams. It is uncharted territory for me. The vocation of consecrated single life isn’t talked about enough. The discernment process is so often seen in terms of marriage or religious life. Those are both super important, don’t get me wrong, but don’t forget the last vocation.
I think there is a lot of unseen beauty in those living out a consecrated single life. They are the people of the laity who live with little recognition for the commitment they have given to God. I think it’s a really neat vocation. Have you noticed how significantly easier it is to live out your faith while you’re sitting in your bible study over sitting at a lunch table with friends? For those in the consecrated single life, they aren’t in a convent. They are literally surrounded by the world we know lives to put them down. Amazing. Such strength.
I don’t know where God is taking me in my life, but I do know I just need to trust it. It’s time I think seriously about my future and what God wants for me. It’s terrifying going into this, but I have God who is able to get me through anything and will help me to come out on top. Single or married, I know the life I will end up giving Him will be all a part of His masterful plan.
First of all, before I begin, EVERYONE NEEDS TO WATCH BASICALLY THE CUTEST, MOST PRECIOUS VIDEO I HAVE EVER SEEN!!!!
Yes. That is the cutest little three-year-old named Isaiah (a name I absolutely LOVE, but that may or may not be because it’s one of my favorite books in the Bible if not number one) “saying mass.” All my feels guys. All my feels.
Ok so now that everyone is ready to ditch their discernment, give into their mommy/daddy feels, and become parents and have their children play religious life, let’s get to the good stuff. Oh. And don’t ditch your discernment. ;)
College is a time where people are constantly (and, in my case, typically condescendingly) asking you what you are going to do with your major (because people who barely know what sociology is TOTALLY know what the job prospects look like for Sociology majors out of college, right? [sorry for the sass]), what you want to do with your life, and what your goals are.
I listened to this bomb podcast (look them up on iTunes. It’s called UMD Newman Catholic Campus Ministry and its his recorded homilies and I listen to them seriously all the time when I am not busy talking about them and how awesome they are) and he talked a bit about it.
Before I continue, if you were to ask me what my life goal was and how I wanted to live out the rest of my life, I’d probably tell you my ultimate goal would be to get to Heaven (obvi) and live the rest of my life as the best Catholic woman I could be, bringing others to Christ alongside me.
Now, nothing is wrong with that at all and I still want that. But the priest in the podcast discussed a friend who said a similar thing. He wanted to be just a good, Catholic guy.
But the thing is, he explained, that’s selling ourselves short. That’s selling God short. We should want to become saints.
I remember months and months and months ago reading a quote about how you should be striving to be a saint.
I remember thinking yeah nice thought. Maybe I’ll know a saint by the tiniest chance of fate. But never me. I’m not going into religious life. I’m probably going to get married and married people are never saints [note: this is false]and goodness knows I sure can’t pay attention in mass so yeah. Sainthood ain’t gonna be my jam.
Um wow Colleen. Way to believe in yourself and the power of God.
Guys, I could totally be a saint. You could be a saint. One day, people could be requesting me to pray for them (I totally call patron saint of organ transplants and veganism y’all). How amazing!
To become a saint, it takes absolutely nothing less than dedicating your entire life to Jesus Christ. That is exactly what I want to do. Every moment of my life, I want Him to be in my thoughts whether it be actively praying to Him in adoration or in the back of my mind as I am studying for a test. I want every action and word to be God inspired. Can you imagine if everything you did was inspired by God? Can you imagine seeking His counsel on every move you weren’t sure how to make? Can you imagine how your whole life would just light on fire? And THEN, guess what? Heaven! Ahhhhh!!!!
It clicked with me that I could do that. Me. I probably won’t have some great martyr story. I probably won’t convert a country. Due to medical restrictions, I can’t go off to some third world country and save babies (BUT FOR REAL GUYS IF I COULD OH MY GOODNESS…) But I can live the life of the saint and maybe become one some day. If I entrust God with my entire mind, body, and soul, I know I can live a life with Him that is beautiful. I want nothing more to do than His work. I want to give Him nothing less than all of me.
Through this project, that’s what I have been starting to be able to do. Give Him all of me. Have you ever had one of those moments where you put God on the backburner and tell Him that His plan has to wait since you’re working on yours? Like, “oh sorry God. Can’t do the PeaceCorps that You want me to do because that conflicts with my plan of going to law school.” I don’t want those anymore! I want to trust Him completely and wholly. I do trust Him, but when it comes to showing that trust, I fail and do things “just in case.” Really? Just in case God’s plan stinks? Is that a joke? My plan is a joke compared to what God’s is for me.
I am still making out God’s plan for me and I’ve started to learn patience and what it means to take things one step at a time. One day, I will make Him the everything of my life and I’ll be that much closer to becoming a saint and being so close to Him for eternity in His Heavenly Kingdom.
God bless and thanks for your prayers. =]
CATHOLICS
When do you end your lenten fast? I went to the vigil (and I will be going to the mass tomorrow) so does that mean I can start having my delicious processed food I have missed right now? When does the fast end?
Sincerely,
Colleen and her chocolate bar and fruit snacks.
UPDATE: My priest saw my Facebook status and told me I am good to go! Easter has begun! Party! Hello chocolate!
I have always considered myself to be a giving and compassionate person. I volunteer when an opportunity arises. I always give the dollar when they ask for a donation in the grocery store. I’ve been a bell ringer asking for donations.
But as good as that looks, it’s not enough. I should be serving God and His people every single day, in some way.
Tonight was Holy Thursday. In the gospel coming from John 13:1-15, the story of Jesus washing the feet of his disciples is told. After he finishes, he leaves his disciples with these words:
He said to them, “Do you realize what I have done for you?
You call me ‘teacher’ and ‘master,’ and rightly so, for indeed I am.
If I, therefore, the master and teacher, have washed your feet,
you ought to wash one another’s feet.
I have given you a model to follow,
so that as I have done for you, you should also do.” (John 13:12-15)
Is anyone else’s mind just completely blown? Our God. Our Lord. Our Savior. Our everything. He humbled himself enough to lower himself and wash the feet of his twelve disciples. Can you imagine doing such a thing? I have no position of power. I am not a leader of anything. I am nothing compared to Jesus Christ and thinking about washing another’s feet freaked me out and sparked a mini panic attack. Really, Colleen? Really?
Now of course, that was me taking it in the literal sense. Jesus was telling his disciples to go out, humble themselves, and serve others as he had humbled and served them. There are so many ways I can do this in my life, many of which I won’t even know about until the moment comes.
I love leading. I love being in control and in charge of everything. Things in AGD, group projects, heck, even family vacations (I held a “mandatory” Spanish phrase teaching session for my family in the limo on the way to the airport before we flew off to Mexico. What does that tell you?) I am so attached to having that control. I control whatever I can. I need to be a follower of God now. I need to let Him do the leading. I need to learn how to put myself in the position of a follower. I need to learn to listen to instructions. It’s a work in progress, but I’ll get there. I’ve been told many times before that I intimidate people. How horrible is that! I don’t want to be perceived in that way! I want people to be able to come to me with anything. By letting that controlling pride in me go, I can become that person.
In the coming fall, I don’t want to take on anymore leadership roles. Will I help with Titan Catholic getting started up? Absolutely. But I just want to get it going and then let God take over. If He leads through me, fine. With everything else though, no thank you. No exec board in Law Society. No position in APO. I’m just going to be one in the crowd. I’m going to learn how to be a sheep in the flock following my Sheperd.
By truly humbling myself, I can become the hands and feet of the Lord. I can do the dirty work. I can wash the feet of His people. It is so important that I learn to serve as He did and humble myself as He did.
I ask for your prayers as I continue to work on this. Thanks for your support in reading. =]
Isn’t it interesting how practicing Catholics tend to only be in like one or two relationships tops?
How many Catholics do we know that married their first boyfriend or girlfriend? For me personally, quite a few! My one family friend got married and he was the only person his wife had ever kissed when they got married!
Everyone always asked through high school why I wasn’t dating. For me, it was stupid (no offense to you guys in high school relationships). I didn’t see anyone who met my standards. I wanted a good Catholic who would practice chastity with me and wanted the same things as I did. A family. A healthy lifestyle. A relationship with God so unnervingly beautiful. I never found that in anyone in high school. I liked one guy who I thought was close to that, but he never felt the same and I thank God for that. I really do.
Now, I am with a guy I could absolutely see myself being with for the rest of our lives. He is not perfect, but neither am I. We’re perfect for each other. I waited for him, because no one else would have mattered. He’s the one. I wouldn’t still be with him if I didn’t think so.
Catholics have beautiful love stories. They really do. They wait and when they find the one God intended them to be with, it’s all the more beautiful. It’s worth it. So keep those godly standards as they are. There is someone out there. Wait. Wait. Wait for him or her. The Catholic love story is worth it.
Why Modern Secular Feminism Irritates Me Like Crazy
Today I was scrolling through my school’s Feminism Club Facebook page and looking at some of the articles posted. Though I agree with many things modern feminism argues for like pay equality, that we live in a rape culture, and that Romney is kind of a d-bag to women (neither him or Obama are getting my vote), I can’t help but get angry with the rest of it and here’s why.
Before I start, I would like to mention I am a dress-loving, make-up-wearing, fashionable, polite, happy, conservative young lady.
- Feminists never seem to embrace femininity. Literally. Have you ever noticed how feminists tend try to be more manly? I agree that as people we are equal, but feminists seem to forget we are different. By golly that’s ok! Instead of trying to prove we are as strong as men (anatomically, we aren’t and seriously that is a pathetic losing battle), why don’t women embrace the fact that we aren’t as strong? Feminists give men so much flack for being protective of us all the time. While it would be nice to live in a world where women don’t need to be protected (something I will give that feminists are fighting for), we do. I am fine with my boyfriend wanting to walk on the inside of the road closer to the cars in case something were to happen. I’m ok with my guy friend wanting to walk me home so I’m not by myself at night. I’m ok with knowing I’m not that strong and that I do need a male hand for stuff.
- Feminists put down women who do show their femininity. I love bows and skirts and pretty pastelly colors. My favorite color in my wardrobe is a pretty peachy pink. Yet I’ve felt judgements from feminists from wearing such attire. Like I’m some little girl they need to teach how to be a woman because I like expressing the fact that I’m a female. I like how cute I look with a bow in my hair. I like how delicate my arms look in certain cardigans. I like how girly I look in heels. Why are feminists judging me for that? Another thing is they bash you for “being a lady.” Excuse me, but I think burping and discussing what happens when you go to bathroom is disgusting. I don’t think men should talk about that type of stuff either honestly. When I go to the bathroom at my boyfriend’s place, I turn on the faucet and make him plug his ears. Is that wrong of me? I don’t think so. Please don’t judge me for not wanting to discuss that type of garbage.
- They are so hypocritical with dress. They bash scantily clad women in magazines because it’s objectifying, but then they tell women “dress sexy for you! Wear what you want! Don’t let anyone tell you what you can and can’t wear!” Um pardon me, but what the heck? So women barely wearing anything in magazines are objects, but women barely wearing anything out are independent and aren’t objects? I’m sorry, but both are being objectified and I can guarantee that. Feminists argue women should be able to go out without having to worry about being judged (which I agree with) based on body type or dress, but at the end of the day, there they go saying these girls in magazines are objectifying themselves and only there for a male’s pleasure (which I am sure is why they put those ads in Seventeen magazine, right? For the hordes of male readers?) It’s hypocritical and frankly disgusting.
- They don’t respect the female anatomy. I cover myself and it is because I value my body and respect it. I am a woman. You don’t need to see my butt or boobs to tell that. I personally find it disrespectful when women are parading around in near nothing near my boyfriend. We have a pure relationship. He should not be seeing more of other girls than he is of me. How disrespectful is it of women to me for you to be giving him a glimpse of something reserved for him on our wedding night? For me, the female anatomy is precious. It’s a gift. Something we should share with the one that has proven himself worthy enough to receive. I want to share my body with him. I just wish other girls weren’t sharing glimpses of theirs with him too.
- Feminists BASH stay-at-home moms. Are you effing kidding me? Anne Romney has gotten so much flack from feminists. It’s ridiculous. If they are all for the empowerment of women, why can’t they let women choose for themselves which vocation is right for them? I want to be a stay-at-home mom for the express reason that I’ll be good at it. Do I look down at women who want to work and be moms? Absolutely not and good for them for being able to balance! I love my boyfriend dearly and I think he’ll be an amazing dad one day, but he can’t raise the kids like I can. He can’t understand kids like I can. And I don’t blame him and I don’t blame men! We’re different! I want to be at home to raise my kids because being raised in a daycare will statistically lead to more behavioral problems down the road. I want my kids to be healthy and a daycare can’t provide like I can. I want to lead my kids in creative activities to express themselves. I want to run them around to different activities and that means someone needs to be home. I want to raise my kids in the best way possible and that means me being there. So don’t judge me for wanting what’s best for my kids.
- Heck, feminists bash the beauty of BEING a mom! They are pro-choice and frankly that is the most disturbing stance they take to me. HOW DARE YOU TELL ME THAT THE MOST BEAUTIFUL AND PRECIOUS THING ABOUT BEING A WOMAN, THE ABILITY TO HAVE A HUMAN BEING DEVELOP INSIDE OF YOU, IS SOMETHING THAT IS A “PROBLEM” AND SOMETHING I SHOULD BE TAKING BIRTH CONTROL PILLS AND HAVING ABORTIONS IF IT WERE TO FAIL!!! I am disgusted. This is quite literally the one thing that men will never be able to say. They can’t give birth. They can’t carry a baby inside them for 9 months. They can’t ever feel the kicks, go through labor, or connect with a child like women can. So GO FIGURE the feminists support things like birth control which completely devalue that precious gift given only to women! DO THEY NOT REALIZE HOW FREAKING AWESOME IT IS THAT WE ARE ABLE TO DO THAT?!?!?!? But no. Getting pregnant is now a problem. A baby is a nuisance (and not a human being either apparently). Both should be prevented by any means possible.
Soooo I’m now waiting for my second heart transplant.
I should expect a wait of 6-9 months for my third heart so if you guys could please send up some prayers that I stay relatively healthy and stabilized until then, that’d be great! Please please please don’t pray I get a heart quickly. I want to get the most from this situation and I think this is God’s way of teaching me the much needed virtue of patience. I have prayed about my future many times and I know God isn’t done with me anytime soon. I am confident in the Lord’s plan. I know I will get a heart. I am so sure of it I’d bet my life on it. So please pray that my family and friends find that strength through God. Please pray for my donor family. Pray for them because today they may not know they are soon going to lose a loved one. Pray they appreciate that person. Pray that my donor appreciates his/her life.
Thanks y’all!
Oh and some great Catholic irony is that I was hospitalized on October 12th. When I told God I was committing fully to the Year of Faith, this was not what I had in mind, but I’ll take it! Hahahaha.
I think it’s hilarious…
Dating a Non-Virgin
I just read a post that I am, quite frankly, disgusted with. I’ll paste it here:
I’m not a misandrist, but I’d never marry a man who wasn’t a virgin. Seriously, they should have some respect for themselves and save their precious virginity for me, no one wants an apple that everyone has already taken a bite out of.
Shame on you!
As Christians, we are taught to love and forgive. You basically just said that anyone who has given up their virginity is “used” and that you would never give him the time of day. How dare you!
Let me tell you something about my boyfriend. During high school, he was a conservative, Catholic boy. He didn’t do anything with girls. He was saving himself. He got to college, took a drink, and stopped caring about that stuff. He quickly lost his virginity, did different things with umpteen girls, and had sex with five girls in total.
Then he met me and I reminded him of who he used to be and who he wanted to be. I knew who he was and what he had done. He chose to change his entire lifestyle for himself and for me. He is now a chaste, goodhearted, Catholic man. He is also the best boyfriend I could ever ask for and he respects me like no one I have ever met before in my life.
At first, yeah, it hurt when I realized if we ever get married that he didn’t save that part of himself for me. But what he did was even bigger. He chose to save everything left and ask God for forgiveness for what he had done. Who am I to not offer him the same forgiveness? I have since prayed about this and I love him with all my heart with no reservations. I have prayed countless times about him and he is the one I will be spending the rest of my life with.
He had to learn to slow down. He had to learn that one thing definitely did not lead to another. He had to learn that professing your love was done with words. A year ago, he was hooking up with girls and doing things he wasn’t proud of. Now, he’s dating a girl and they do nothing more than small kisses.
He opens the door for me. He pays for my meals with him. He appreciates how I cover myself. He is my defense. He was worth it. That fact that he lost his virginity and all. While he may be an “apple that everyone has already taken a bite out of” to some people, I know that no one else has his heart like I do. That’s all that matters.
On a side note, the Evert couple is a fantastic duo on chastity. If you look at Crystallina’s story, you know that she wasn’t always this hardcore chastity advocate she is today. Jason forgave her as I did with my Dave. Look at where they are today. Was Crystallina any less worthy of Jason? Absolutely not.
So don’t you dare go another day thinking that someone who sinned before (as we all have) should be condemned by you in that way. The way I look at it, it’s YOU that doesn’t deserve HIM.
Pray for those who have given away their virginity that they turn to God and find ways to respect themselves more. Pray for people who may be struggling with purity. Pray that you don’t have this pride for containing your virginity.
God bless.
I am sorry for any angry tone this may have. I was just severely disturbed by the post. Praying for you all!
Found out who one of the new student leaders of our Titan Catholic club is on campus.
It’s the guy who explained to me last year that he is not one of “those Catholics” who is against gay marriage and “stuff.” His girlfriend and him are definitely NOT trying to be pure (it’s ok to fail sometimes since we’re all sinners, but they don’t TRY) and he is so NOT Catholic that I can’t even BELIEVE he is leading the group I TRIED SO HARD to lead this year.
Not pleased guys. Not pleased. Prayers all around. This is going to be a bumpy year.
Happy birthday to freedom!
Unless you’re Catholic. Then we’re going to force you to violate your conscience. LOLZ.
