Dating a Non-Virgin
I just read a post that I am, quite frankly, disgusted with. I’ll paste it here:
I’m not a misandrist, but I’d never marry a man who wasn’t a virgin. Seriously, they should have some respect for themselves and save their precious virginity for me, no one wants an apple that everyone has already taken a bite out of.
Shame on you!
As Christians, we are taught to love and forgive. You basically just said that anyone who has given up their virginity is “used” and that you would never give him the time of day. How dare you!
Let me tell you something about my boyfriend. During high school, he was a conservative, Catholic boy. He didn’t do anything with girls. He was saving himself. He got to college, took a drink, and stopped caring about that stuff. He quickly lost his virginity, did different things with umpteen girls, and had sex with five girls in total.
Then he met me and I reminded him of who he used to be and who he wanted to be. I knew who he was and what he had done. He chose to change his entire lifestyle for himself and for me. He is now a chaste, goodhearted, Catholic man. He is also the best boyfriend I could ever ask for and he respects me like no one I have ever met before in my life.
At first, yeah, it hurt when I realized if we ever get married that he didn’t save that part of himself for me. But what he did was even bigger. He chose to save everything left and ask God for forgiveness for what he had done. Who am I to not offer him the same forgiveness? I have since prayed about this and I love him with all my heart with no reservations. I have prayed countless times about him and he is the one I will be spending the rest of my life with.
He had to learn to slow down. He had to learn that one thing definitely did not lead to another. He had to learn that professing your love was done with words. A year ago, he was hooking up with girls and doing things he wasn’t proud of. Now, he’s dating a girl and they do nothing more than small kisses.
He opens the door for me. He pays for my meals with him. He appreciates how I cover myself. He is my defense. He was worth it. That fact that he lost his virginity and all. While he may be an “apple that everyone has already taken a bite out of” to some people, I know that no one else has his heart like I do. That’s all that matters.
On a side note, the Evert couple is a fantastic duo on chastity. If you look at Crystallina’s story, you know that she wasn’t always this hardcore chastity advocate she is today. Jason forgave her as I did with my Dave. Look at where they are today. Was Crystallina any less worthy of Jason? Absolutely not.
So don’t you dare go another day thinking that someone who sinned before (as we all have) should be condemned by you in that way. The way I look at it, it’s YOU that doesn’t deserve HIM.
Pray for those who have given away their virginity that they turn to God and find ways to respect themselves more. Pray for people who may be struggling with purity. Pray that you don’t have this pride for containing your virginity.
God bless.
I am sorry for any angry tone this may have. I was just severely disturbed by the post. Praying for you all!
